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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did these same friends celebrate you becoming a new mom at your shower? I'd probably suck it up and go, while planning to leave early before the gift opening ooohs and aaaahs. If all goes well, you might find yourself staying even longer for the gift opening.

I'm a 4 year primary infertility warrior, who has been lapped and attended many baby showers over the 4 years. I can tell you that the 'thought' of attending these events has always been worse than the events themselves. The beginning of a shower is always mingling and eating; when conversations turned to kids, I just scooted over to another conversation as I didn't have any children on earth.

These girls were my friends. I don't think you mentioned it, but if it was just an acquaintance--I 'd skip it. If any of them are not for first time moms, I'd skip them, too. (Sending gifts for both scenarios, of course.)

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100 percent yes, especially if these are friends who celebrated you and your first baby. Once you get there, you'll warm up. Often, baby showers are the only time I get to see a once-close group of friends.

But that said, I think there are exceptions. Like the PP who was in the midst of a miscarriage. Or baby showers with stupid games.

I feel like the showers where you're  celebrating the mama-to-be, and by extension, all women wherever they are on their journeys, are the most manageable for me. The ones with the least amount of baby shower baggage. The ones where the moms might need my support as a friend -- other women who've gone through infertility, or single parents, or parents who are adopting.

And you can always send a gift and politely decline. It doesn't mean you're not happy for your friend or her baby. Just that you're not up to it that day.

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