Reply to How do I make my 9 yr old DS feel better about lack of athletic skill

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "How do I make my 9 yr old DS feel better about lack of athletic skill"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. Do NOT quit because it makes him sad, lord!

I have 2 sons, super competitive and not so great. Both get sad at the end of games if they don't play well. You can't protect your child from being sad, but teach them how to work through that emotion (and not with ice cream like most of us were taught).

You should read the book [i]Mindset[/i]. Your child is learning to be resilient. It is one characteristic that needs to be taught to kids and will help them through their whole life.

My 11 yo has already been cut from 2 teams, but he found others, made new friends, etc. he loses a lot (one sport is individual) but he keeps trying.

Eventually ... Everybody gets cut, whether it is at 11, or most kids in high school, then finally college. Very few are really super star athletes.

My super competitive son is in HS, nobody made the basketball team of his friends. So they all joined an intramural league and are having a blast. The players, like my 11 yo that got cut in middle school are right in the mix.

It's about friendship, camaraderie, overcoming set backs. The compassion show between boys when one gets cut is really amazing. 
[/quote]

But how do you make him resilient?  My son is so nervous and unathletic that it makes him feel so bad and he hasn't lasted very long in most sports.  He has found one sport he seems to like, as long as he isn't competing and just learning.  I don't think he will get resilient making him do sports that he is THE WORST at.[/quote]

Totally agree.  I've never understood the mindset of "don't let them quit, they just have to learn to be resilient".  In my opinion, if the child is upset, has low self-esteem, and dislikes the sport, what's the point of continuing?  Find an activity that s/he excels in and feels good about.  When my son was in second grade, I had him on a basketball team.  He dreaded each and every practice and game.  Finally, he broke down in tears and said he just didn't want to do a sport "involving balls".  We laugh about that remark now, but it was exactly what we needed to hear at the time - a real wake up call.  Here was a child who had terrible hand-eye coordination and putting him into team sports just didn't work for him.  At all.  It caused stress and anxiety - the complete opposite of how we wanted our young son to feel.  Eventually, he discovered running and was on the cross-country team all through high school.  He was also part of the orchestra, a terrific "team" experience as well.  There is something out there for everyone, and it doesn't have to be sports.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics