Reply to How do I make my 9 yr old DS feel better about lack of athletic skill

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. Do NOT quit because it makes him sad, lord!

I have 2 sons, super competitive and not so great. Both get sad at the end of games if they don't play well. You can't protect your child from being sad, but teach them how to work through that emotion (and not with ice cream like most of us were taught).

You should read the book [i]Mindset[/i]. Your child is learning to be resilient. It is one characteristic that needs to be taught to kids and will help them through their whole life.

My 11 yo has already been cut from 2 teams, but he found others, made new friends, etc. he loses a lot (one sport is individual) but he keeps trying.

Eventually ... Everybody gets cut, whether it is at 11, or most kids in high school, then finally college. Very few are really super star athletes.

[b]My super competitive son is in HS, nobody made the basketball team of his friends. So they all joined an intramural league and are having a blast. The players, like my 11 yo that got cut in middle school are right in the mix. [/b]

It's about friendship, camaraderie, overcoming set backs. The compassion show between boys when one gets cut is really amazing. 
[/quote]

but how much playing time would a non-athletic/non-competitive kid get in this team? OP's son is already sitting on the bench a lot and hard for OP to watch. And frankly what does a kid get out of such experience? [/quote]

The dreaded "playing time" issue.

My less athletic child does not play as much as the top players. But truthfully the top players are better and most play the sport at home every moment they can. It's like the smarter kids, they get A's, they get chosen to speak at assemblies, they go to better colleges. This is how the world works.

This is why my son joined one individual sport, everybody gets their shot. If you lose you don't move on (in tournaments). It's like swim team, there is only 1 person with the best time, yet kids come back year after year after year, knowing they won't beat those top 2 or 3 swimmers. Why?

For son 1 he loves to be active,he wants to bewitch his friends. For son #2 he believes he can get better and eventually be the top player.

In HS coaches will roster some sports teams in such a way that you may never see the playing field, but you are still part of a team, you can still put I to you college app as an EC, you are still working out and getting healthy and strong,you are with your friends. Each child has their own motivation. Some kids are fine with that, some are not. My son made Varsity as a Freshmen, yea! He played about 20 minutes the whole season... Ouch! That was a learning experience.[/quote]

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