Reply to How do you develop a self-motivated child? A kindergartener who can work independently?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Thanks for the perspective. I may be taking this to heart more than necessary. There is so much pressure! I feel like he's building a reputation with the teachers as a very bright boy who has poor classroom habits. I don't want him dismissed.

The thing is, school was a sanctuary for me. More toys, more attention, independence, belonging. I grew up in the typical, 70s, adult-focused household. I always did well in school, as was the expectation, but I also always had a good time there. I'm having a hard time with this little brainiac misbehaving like this. Simply refusing to do work? It's rude. It's not like him to be so contrary, especially when it relates to something he's so obviously good at.

I need to let go of my own baggage and focus on him. How do you instill work ethic?

It's so much easier to drill sight words! I'm failing him and I don't know what to do.

[/quote]

A) He is not you.
B) He is not misbehaving. If he was you'd be posting "I have to have another Parent Teacher conference because my kid is misbehaving."
C) [b]There is a difference between refusing to do work and having anxiety /fear/tough time concentrating/etc doing work. Have you considered any other options besides a conscious effort to not complete his work?[/b]
D) If you try to instill achievement too much he could build a fear of failure. Be sure you're not instilling achievement vs work ethic. Lots of studies being done on this these days.
E) Drilling anything with a 5-6 year old sounds like a bit much, especially if his school day is filled with worksheets, drilling, etc. Lots of opportunities to learn around the house in ways that don't feel like school.

What are his teachers saying? They'd be in the best position to say what he's doing instead of his work.[/quote]

You need to look into why your child is refusing to participate.  You should get your child evaluated bc if it's a medical issue that's keeping him from participating then it's not going to resolve with maturity and you need to get him help like an IEP.[/quote]

This is the difference between Asian culture and high SES American culture. 
Kid is not doing work from Asian family, kid gets made to do  Kumon to develop good work habits. Kid has more work at home, difficult at first, but then learns to do quality work above grade level so work at school is easy to do quickly and done well. Work harder kid.
Kid from American high SES family gets dragged to get tested. Parents pay 3,000 dollars to get labeled to get accomodations to do less work. Poor kid he can't help it. [/quote]

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