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[quote=Anonymous]
 
  
[quote]thanks. I won't ask. 
 But here are some background details. I had fertility issues and it was openly discussed. Although they have had several children, my other sibling had fertility issues and it was openly discussed. Thus, in our family, the topic has not been hush hush. In a way, I guess, I feel like if fertility is an issue, acting like it isn't is a little odd. But it is a personal choice to talk about it and they may be keeping it private. 
 It is an elephant in the room because for so long they have talked about and made decisions that reflect a longterm desire to have kids coupled with a short term desire to continue having fun (party lifestyle). As the years go by, the party time has continued and the talk about kids has virtual stopped. But since they always said they wanted them, it seems appropriate to assume they still do. But maybe they don't. FWIW, no one asks so they aren't pestered. Perhaps parents ask but with me it was relentless from parents, aunts, siblings until I finally said "we are trying!"[/quote]

OP, a couple thoughts.  First, glad you decided not to ask.  Second, it sounds like you and your family get together often and discuss these things (you discussed your fertility, sibling discussed hers, inlaw discussed longterm desire for kids but short term partying).  It is only natural that when the whole family is talking about these things, for them to talk about their decision at that time - during a natural conversation - if they want to disclose or to be silent during these natural conversations.

That right there is your answer.  Clearly when conversations like these come up, they are already letting you know whether they want to share their decision, not share their decision, or that they haven't made their decision yet.  You already got your answer, but you coming out and asking makes it awkward.  Honestly, if you are that curous, why not raise some topics that all of you could talk about that centers on having kids and watch their body language, responses and/or lack of responses.  That will tell you plenty.  But Glad you decided to not talk about it.

third - it doesn't seem like it's this pressing issue that everyone is buzzing about unless there's a family altering event that is affected by them being pregnant.  Will your activities, conversations, or behavior change on vacation based on whether they decided to try and have kids, decided but are having trouble, or decided not to have kids?  Please really take a moment to analyze yourself and your family as it sounds like that's really what's going on.  And if it is, please, please, please consider their feelings before doing this.  Even subtle things like,

"Oh, it's been such a crazy holiday I'm so happy we're on this vacation [turning to sib and in-law] I know you can't relate, but the kids have been driving us crazy since back at school.]

"Hey, let's all talk about where we want to go for next year for vaca.  [turning to sib and in-law]  I know you wouldn't want to go to Disneyland [another kid-friendly place] so let's look at other options.

Please be aware of these subtle but hurtful ways you may be alienating them because they are child-free.[/quote]

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