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[quote=Anonymous]Are you and your DH in therapy, OP?  It took my DH seeing how toxic his mom is to his sister's marriage to realize that she actually roots for our marriage to fail.  She is very possessive of her children and delights in bashing their spouses.  My SIL's marriage is all but over, and MIL does nothing but continue to beat the dead horse of my BIL, who actually seems like a pretty nice (albeit completely passive) guy who is a great and very involved father.  MIL loves it when SIL comes here for the holidays without her husband.  She snapped at us when she heard that we sent him a message at Christmas on Facebook saying that we missed him and hoped to see him at a future holiday.  She does nothing but tear him down, even in front of her granddaughter.

MIL had been cutting me down for a while, but it wasn't until DH saw her toxicity aimed at his BIL that he realized that his mom really wasn't rooting for any of our marriages to be happy.  She loves that my DH was her "best friend" before he married me and after his first marriage failed.  This realization hasn't caused DH to completely change his behavior - - it's a lifetime of her being controlling and manipulative, so not something he can fix his reactions to overnight - but the lightbulb when he realized that she really wants our family to break up has helped him become more protective of us as a family unit.[/quote]

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