Reply to I don't need therapy for this, but here's what I want to do.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why you need your husband's permission for this.  It sounds like you would be much, much happier without him, and he sounds like a really inconsiderate jerk.  No wonder his sons are emulating him.

Why don't you see a lawyer and start proceedings?  Life is short.  You don't have to live like this any more.

I do also bristle at your victim tone and think therapy might really help, but I don't blame you for wanting to leave.[/quote]

I am self critical but I don't feel a victim. I am not entitled to love and happiness. I think I've come to realize life is what it is.  I have spent all of my twenties and thirties with this man and have come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as a fairy tale ending. [b] I have not given many details about our lives because I feel passed the point of analyzing our relationship. [/b]To me to be a victim is to feel entitled to the life that I have created with with him. I would love it if my life were different. I love him a great deal and wished he felt the same about me. Some very cruel things have been said that I swept under the carpet. For many years, I thought it was impossible to not develop deep affection for someone you live with for so long. I waking up to the fact that my kids are independent and that he will do a good job guiding them. This means a great deal to me. I think it's watching the everyday misery in his face that made it okay for me to move on. I think is finding a person that is going to fit in his life that's the challenge. Some years back, I think he checked out some dating sites but decided against it at some point.

[b]I don't need therapy. Life is what it is. [/b][/quote]

OP, I respectfully submit that you really do owe it to yourself to go through some therapy. After doing the therapy, it's entirely possible that you might end up proceeding along a course similar to what you've describe above. However, I really think you owe it to yourself to go through a process of talk therapy with a professional. I know you believe you have thought through this as much as you need to, but there is a huge difference between talking to yourself, and talking things through with a third party.

Doing this will help you learn more about how/why you are in your current situation. It can help you figure how how to improve your situation.

All of us non-professional, anonymous folks on DCUM can rattle off our opinions, but I really think you need to do therapy, where you can have a confidential conversation with a professional and really get a good sense of where you are and where you should be going.

Good luck.[/quote]

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