Reply to I thought it was crazy too, but hear me out.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I know it's controversial, and trust me we have talked extensively about how this isn't "fixing" anything and he seems aware of that. It's more about what the PP said, his identity and our children's identities (who are both boys btw so would likely carry this on) are connected to this name and my husband (and I?) would rather them be connected to something we create and sustain. My maiden name wouldn't work at all so we'd create our own last name for the four of us. And to be honest, as tired as I already am thinking of the logistics of all this, I do kind of like the idea that we would be creating something that's just "ours" so that the poison of his family (and trust me, it's bad) isn't something we all were tied to. [/quote]

Queer families do this a lot. Not that hard and really cool. Options include blending names (which would not work for you)  or coming up with something significant and brand new. Super cool. Names are actually a huge deal and while it will not erase all of the hurt and anger it certainly will feel empowering. You sound like a great spouse. [/quote]

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