Reply to What's better for the kids - bad marriage or divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think amicable divorce is better. My ex and I are friends now. It makes our kids so, so happy to see us exchanging Christmas presents, breaking bread together, etc. We would have holes punched through the walls if we'd stayed together.[/quote]

i don't really know people who have an amicable relationship post-divorce. my in laws have been divorced for almost 20 years and they will not be in the same room. a nightmare.[/quote]

My parents are somewhat amicable.  They have been divorced almost 20 years, and work in the same field, so the anger has faded and it is in their interest to get along.  However, it still sucks for us kids.  It is really expensive and time-consuming to do all holidays and visits separately.  I get really sick of negotiating how time will be spent and schlepping my kids around.  It's really hard to get my children to spend enough time with their grandparents because it has to be done separately.  As they get older, I am more and more afraid of how difficult it will be to care for them in two separate locations.  Their second marriages have not turned out well either, so they are both as unhappy as they were when they were married.  I don't think anyone should stay in a bad marriage due to these long-term concerns, but the consequences are real and long-lasting.  Just because a divorce is amicable does not mean it is easy for the kids. [/quote]

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