Reply to What's better for the kids - bad marriage or divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous]
Not all counceling is created equally. Not all councelors are good and one type of counceling doesn't work for all types of people. Also, many people say "We're in counceling" as a means to take no action. My advice would be to take whatever time and money you're putting into counceling and do something fun. Go out for ice cream, see a movie, go for a walk, learn something about each other's interests/hobbies. You've already got money and blocks of time set aside and if counceling isn't helping, reallocate the allocated blocks of time and money. If you do decide to divorce, realize a few things. It too costs time and money.  Your spouse will meet a girlfriend who will be involved with your kids. You may or may not like this person. However you feel, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Realize that your spouse can do whatever he or she wants during their time with the kid. If they want to let your kid play video games nonstop and your kid is a bastard after playing video games, tough. If your spouse decides they are interested in guns, they can teach your kid how to shoot and there is nothing you can do to stop it. If you want to stay home with your kids, now or in the future, it will be impossible to do so finantially. I think you guys can work this out assuming that you both are on the same page sexually and romantically and that you are both invested in your kids. If one of you feels that the kids cramp his style and is counting down the days until they're older, that would be miserable to live with. If one of you wants to swing and the other doesn't, you can't really agree to disagree. The details matter op and unless you share them, you'll get answers that are all over the map.[/quote]

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