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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Update. I told dh what dd said. (Hope he doesn't peruse dcum). I told him I might be the worst wife ever, but he becomes a bad father the moment he berates me for my "failings" and storms off in front of our children. He feels terrible, but i don't believe anything will change. We've had these talks before after fighting in front of the kids. It's futile.

Oh, and my "failing" tonight, if it matters: when he left with younger dd (1) to change her and told me to order for him, I ordered for everyone including 2 kids and forgot to order him a coke and to ask for bread. Something has got to change. I just don't think my dh is capable of change. I would do anything. I would become someone else entirely and sacrifice myself if it would actually change the way dh treated me. [/quote]

You can't make that change happen.  You can only change what you consider healthy or acceptable, and really either you both go to counseling (which often will just make it more clear you need to go), or you and the kids go.  Do you go to counseling on your own?  You should.  Do you have a back up plan for if you leave, can you support yourself and the kids and do you have a place to go?

Seriously, start planning for the end.  Sometimes that shifts the dynamic enough that the few partners who might be capable and willing to change somewhere in themselves, they get the message they're about to lose their spouse and they take changing mroe seriously.  And if they don't... you already have your exit plan and you should absolutely use it.

You are NOT, I repeat NOT doing your kids any favors by staying.  And as your daughter pretty much pointed out at the wise old age of FOUR, you are probably doing damage by staying.  [/quote]

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