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[quote=Anonymous]read Gun Guys by Dan Baum. He is also a typical liberal urbanite, so a good guide. (yes I am the poster who recommended it in the other thread.)  But uh, don't let them see you reading it. ;)

I bet this is more about the (perceived or real, doesn't matter) chip on your shoulder than anything specific to gun culture. It's a pretty standard human reaction against someone they think judges and looks down on them. Look at the advice people on this board get about deflecting invasive MIL questions about their parenting--it's very similar.

That said, gun culture could be playing a role, but it's hard to say exactly how. They may be of the strain that feels that it takes safety seriously already so your attempts at enforcing it on them are already way less than what they already do, in which case every sanctimonious email you send asking them to be safe and every clumsy in-person followup is taken as a deep insult. Or they may be of the "we never talk about it with untrusted people" strain and while you are family, you demonstrably Don't Get It, so you're untrusted, and the last person they're going to show where and how they keep their guns. Those are two pretty different emotional scenarios. And you may be dealing with both, not just one or the other.

If you want a frank discussion, then start one. Show openness and curiosity towards them and what they care about, not just fear.  And listen and be open to what they say and the the idea that you might be wrong and might not have the whole picture, much as you think they don't have the whole picture.  I think the details of what you do to get there are going to depend on the personalities and relationships involved, but if anyone there is reasonable and can see things from your POV, it could go well.

Have they ever invited you shooting?  Maybe you should take them up on it, or ask to come with if you see them going.  The "lib'rul cousin swallows his fear and comes shooting with us" is a big moment.  :)  Be sure to schedule it such that you can take your time, or get something to eat after, so you can talk. Oh and, DO NOT GET INTO POLITICS for the love of god. If they do, DO NOT ENGAGE. Make the day something new in your family history, the day you learned about guns, not just red/blue fight number 80,001.[/quote]

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