Reply to what to do when MIL encourages lying?

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[quote=Anonymous]To me this isn't a question of whether it's right to restrict sugar or whether grandparents and grandkids can have special activities that are a little like spoiling.  It's about whether it is acceptable for an adult to encourage a child to keep secrets from parents and admonish them for telling the truth.  To me this is totally unacceptable.

I'd give your MIL the benefit of the doubt as to why she is doing this and assume no harm.  Hopefully she has no negative intentions and this is her way of trying to have a special relationship with her granddaughter.

Along those lines, I would express how much you appreciate (even if this means lying through your teeth) that she wants to be close to your DD, that you support it and love that they have "special time" together or whatever.  But that the rule is, this has to be done in an open way.  Maybe give her some guidelines--you can go for ice cream x times or on certain days, but that the bottom line is it needs to be open.

If she can't agree to that for such a young child, this would be a huge problem for me.[/quote]

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