Reply to Does anyone have a genuinely good relationship with their parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a great relationship with my parents and DH is estranged from one, difficult with the other. Here are some differences I see:

In my family there's limited enmeshment. People don't tend to  get their feelings hurt by others and there's a live and let live sensibility (whereas DH's life was organized by guilt and being sure people's feelings aren't hurt).

We are responsible to one another but we don't do things because we are afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Instead we say "Hey, it's too much for us to travel for the holidays" or "I just can't afford that right now" or "It's important to me that you all be there if you can." (but we understand that people can't).

In DH's family we are always trying to navigate our decisions and avoid offending someone. Even something like going out to dinner, his Dad will say "where do you want to go" and we have to play 20 questions until we figure out what he wants. My parents will just say: We'd like "Chinese food" or "Anywhere is fine with us."

[/quote]

This is me and my parents almost exactly. [/quote]

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