Reply to Daughter thinks she's transgender; in desperate need of counselor to help us

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Daughter thinks she's transgender; in desperate need of counselor to help us"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that this has blindsided you makes me think there's a good chance it's something she's just "trying on."  There's a lot of publicity around this issue at the moment and for "typical" kids, I think some of them look at all the viral videos or stories about kids "coming out" and their supportive parents and how it can almost make you famous or special to be different in this way.  Actual children with gender dysphoria, on the other hand, have felt "different" their whole lives and typically act out.

In other words, I think it's really unusual for someone to reach the age of 13 without even dropping a single hint that they are confused about their gender identity and then suddenly come out as transgender.  I'm not saying it's impossible, but I would definitely see a regular therapist first as opposed to one specializing in transgender issues -- or at least be very careful about which transgender expert you see.  Kenneth Zucker is an excellent choice for this, but I'm not sure where he is based.  He headed up the APA task force on gender identity, though, really knows his stuff, and takes a VERY conservative approach with children -- no hormones or transitions before a very thorough attempt to get the the root of what's really going on.[/quote]

It's hard to know.  You might be right, but it is equally possible the signs were always there and the parents just were not aware or misinterpreted them.  That was the situation in some families I know well.  Contrary to media portrayals, specialists in the field have told me it is much more common for children to really begin to question this when they hit puberty than it is when they are smaller.  Our culture is very accepting of "tom boys," so it is very easy to miss this in girls before puberty.   But I agree completely that a conservative approach initially is the way to go until you sort it out, except that I think psych and medical consults should not wait long with a 13 year old.   Your window -- if you have one at all -- is very small to potentially make a difference physicially.  My understanding is that puberty blockers are totally reversible, so if appropriate here can buy you time to make decisions.  I completely agree there is no need to rush to any judgments about cross-hormone therapies or more.  I'm just talking about preserving options and potentially heading off the onset of more severe disphoria.   Good luck OP if you are still reading. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics