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Reply to "what to do when MIL encourages lying?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Our rule is that no grownup should ask our child to keep a secret from or tell a lie to us. And we talk about the difference between a secret (which you never tell) and a surprise (which you eventually tell), and how the former is bad and the latter is fine. I would be really frank: "Look, MIL, you know that we try to limit Larla's sugar because it affects her badly. But I also know that you like to get her little treats sometimes, and that's fine. That's kind of what grandmothers do. But what's not fine is you encouraging her not to tell us the truth about it. I want you and Larla to be able to spend lots of time together, but if you lie to me about what you do when you are with her, or encourage her not to tell us what you did, even if it's something innocent, it makes it harder for me to trust you. Please just tell me the truth about what you do."[/quote]
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