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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't believe how hard my mom worked when she hosted every single holiday (about five times per year, twelve if you count birthdays) for 40+ years.  She worked full time, often overtime. She made everything by hand, lovingly.  She made a beautiful house.  We had tons of people every holiday, without fail.  In the summers, we hosted huge cook outs in our huge yard. Everyone RAVED about her cooking and the get togethers. To this day, people mention her homemade (everything) to me.  Actually, the company was amazing, too.

MIL, OTOH, is the worst model in this regard.  Since this is anonymous.  She gets overwhelmed so easily, never serves enough food, and barely pulls off one or two meals per year.  She has been this way since I have known her, not just in her old age.  It stresses everyone out.  We all try to contribute as much as possible, because she insists on hosting - yet it is so clear she hates it. She maybe talks to one person all day.

I am trying to learn to like the holidays again.

[/quote]

Do your mil a favor and stop comparing her to your supermom[/quote]

wow np here, i could have typed this. exact differences between my mom and mil. it's really difficult to not compare. it's hard not to when you've spent 28 years doing holidays with your family and then see such stark differences with your in laws.[/quote]

It is inevitable that comparison might happen.  Especially if MIL only works p/t, if at all.  My mom was not perfect, but she was never so easily overwhelmed.  It is frightening to be around people who are, because it makes you think that there is reason to be; even if you (yourself) are smart enough to know otherwise.  Being surrounded by easily overwhelmed people is no fun :(

[/quote]

If everyone (MIL!) could throw a party as equally well as your mom than your mom's hostess skills wouldn't be terribly noteworthy or special.  Is that what you're saying? I hope not. Personally, I consider entertaining to be a talent just like singing or painting is a talent.  Not everyone has the knack but that's o.k. [/quote]

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