Reply to How to tell best friend who is struggling with infertility that I am pregnant

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[quote=Anonymous]Please don't talk to people about getting pregnant the first month - no matter who you are talking too really - it's just TMI (maybe your other best friend who isn't struggling with infertility).  I was in line behind two people ordering lunch the other week & one was talking to the other about about getting pregnant right after pulling the goalie -- and the other woman and everyone in line was basically squimish about it.  On the more general point - I did struggle with infertility and losses - and did end up having it impact lots of friendships.  Ended up 'growing apart' from lots of friends I had through my 20s when they had kids earlier, and lots of people who said things that sound 'normal' but I found hard to be around when I was TTC and then going through various losses - including totally not wanting to talk to my best friend from childhood anymore who really didn't get it.  Agree with PP that there's a turning point in life around having kids and where your focus goes after that.  It's really nice that you're approaching this thoughtfully and with sensitivity - I'd say it more depends on your friend's emotional status for how she'll react.  Some women struggling with infertility find it hard to be around pregnancies and babies etc and others are ok with it.  I'd keep it to a very straight ahead and basic type of conversation & you can probably gauge her comfort level as things progress - but I'd also advise to get ready that I'm sure it will hurt on your side too where there's a loss of not being able to share your 'news' and stories (like 'cute' anecdotes from doctors visits and swelling feet and all that) the same way with your close friend as you'd like.[/quote]

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