Reply to How to tell best friend who is struggling with infertility that I am pregnant

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Hi, I wanted to tell you my news - I am expecting!"

She is your BF.  She does not wish you ill. She will not be hurt.  Sure, she wants that for herself too, but she is able to take other people'e good news.  She will appreciate that you think her generous-hearted enough to be happy for you.
[/quote]

No no no no no no no. [/quote]

Actually, yes!  I struggled with IF and multiple failures before finally getting pregnant after three years.  In those three years many of my friends had their first, and in some cases second, child.  It was such a brutually tough and lonely time.  But, what was especially hurtful, was when friends treated me like some monster who couldn't possibly be happy for them and either made me the last to know of their pregnancies or announced it in a patronizing fashion.

A simple e-mail will do:

Hi Jane,

I have some big news to share.  I'm pregnant.  I just found out a couple of weeks ago  - it's early -  but am sharing it with my closest friends first.

I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.  In the meantime, thinking of you and much love to you and Bob.

Love, 
Betsy

Give her time to digest the news and she may respond, she may not.  Don't take it personally either way.  What she will know is that you are a close person to you and that you care about her, too.

[/quote]

I also struggled for years and this is the exact approach I preferred.  Send an email so that your friend has time to process the news privately.  And then assume that your friend is part of your life and will be happy for you and wants to share in your joy.

One of my very close friends told me at a crowded restaurant and it was truly terrible.  I was so emotionally raw that I could barely get through the meal without crying.  In fact, every time I tried to speak I was choking up.  I was happy for her but I also just in a bad place and I was mortified that my reaction to her wonderful news was tears.  She meant well, but it was not great.  Give your friend a chance to process privately.[/quote]

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