Reply to How to tell best friend who is struggling with infertility that I am pregnant

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh man. First of all, I want to say that you are a great friend for even asking this question.  I'd say 90% of people really have no concept that there are SO many people struggling with infertility and are truly insensitive when it comes to breaking the news about pregnancy.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 16 months and are in the process of our first round of IVF.  Many friends in this time period of my life have become pregnant, including my sister in law.  The ones that really were very hard for me to deal with were the "and it was the first month trying!" Clearly, you've gotten this advice and won't ever say it (but please also not just to your friend but to anyone. You really have no idea who is going through IF because it's such an intensly private thing).

I totally agree with the poster who said to give her an "out." I have generally responded really well to friends, but when my sister in law told me she was pregnant, I lost it. Thankfully I was at my office and it was via phone, so I could congratulate her, close my door, have a good cry, and then go on my way.

And I don't know about others going through IF, but I am geniuenly happy for people once they are pregnant (especially good friends). I would feel worse thinking that my friends were worried about telling me more than anything else, honestly. So just be direct: "I know you have been going through a really hard time and if you want to just take a few days to digest this, that's totally ok. But I am pregnant!" And you have the right to be excited and you should be. I can virtually guarantee she will be excited for you too. 
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