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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]You know, whatever works for a couple. It's not for you to judge. Maybe she hates travel, or (gasp) would prefer not so spend time with your mom, or would rather let her husband do it 1:1 since it means more. Not everyone has to do everything together all the time. Not everyone has to do the dutiful thing all the time.[/quote]

PP with the sister in law here who stayed put. There's more to the story. She claims that she needed do to this dinner because it would be good 'networking' as the male half of the couple is in some field she's interested in. But she hasn't been able to find a job in 10 years, my brother not only supports her but recently supported her while she went to a top 3 b school, across the country, thinking it would finally help her get employed. Two years out, she is still unemployed because she never makes it past the in person interview.  She also doesn't want to have kids until she has her career 'set' and my brother is now pushing 45 and desperately wants kids (she is late 30s). The travel to my mom's is a 2 hour car drive for one meal, back that same night.  Meanwhile, my brother used all of his vacation to travel with her and her parents this past year--he spent 2 weeks this fall and 2 weeks last spring traveling with her and her parents internationally, and she refused to come to one meal at my mom's because she claimed it would be good networking. I am mad not about the meal because my brother is deeply unhappy, but can't really face what a disaster his marriage is. This is just one example.[/quote]

Your explanation actually makes her actions seem reasonable to me. She's been unemployed for years! I actually hope the dinner benefits her.[/quote]

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