Reply to DH didn't make partner - dealing with imminent major reduction of HHI

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[quote=Anonymous]It took my husband 3 times being up for partner to get it.  Is this your husband's first time being up?  Is his firm a once and never again firm?  My DH's firm is top 10 Biglaw (not a humblebrag), I mention that because if his firm allowed him to be up 3 times I would bet many others do as well, unless he was firmly told he was being pushed out.  My DH used to say "if I don't get it I am definitely leaving" and then it happened, and he decided to stick it out and it worked out.

Fed no are super hard and competitive right now.  definitely look into them but I would also recommend having him test out feelers from some of his clients to see if he can go inhouse.  As others mentioned, this often requires a move, but it could be to a cheaper cost of living city.  Then there are NGOs, trade associations, even lobbying firms.  And it is easier to find a job when you already have one.  Encourage him to not leave until he has something lined up.

You should look Into going back to work.  My sister is a hospital shift RN, she and her husband stagger their schedule so they only need 2 days of childcare.  She works weekends and nights.  You could be a floater, part time, etc.

You need to pull the kids out of parochial for next year.  This is a huge expense.  Even though it sounds like your tuition is $10,000, you need to make that plus your tax rate to afford it, as I assume you pay for it with post tax dollars.  Maybe see if your school offers scholarships.  Go to the school with your financial situation in the new year, say you want to stay but no longer can afford it, see if they can offer any aid.  All they can say is no.  It makes no sense clipping coupons if your a pound foolish with big expenses.

I am sorry this happened to you.  I was also on the partnership track at another biglaw firm and had fantastic hours and receivables, and was laid off/RIF in 2009 during the big recession while I was pregnant.  Even though I tried finding a job, no one was going to hire a hugely pregnant woman.  So I became a. SAHM by default I guess.  Our income was cut in half.  But we survived, you will too. [/quote]

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