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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MIL has to outdo everyone.  Every single time we see them, they bring presents. They mailed presents for my DD's birthday, then when we saw them the day after, they had more presents and a cake. [b] My daughter then rejected my homemade cake when we got home because the frosting wasn't pink like the store bought cake MIL bought.  [/b] MIL wanted to put candles on the cake and I stopped her because we just did candles the day before on her real birthday.  I feel like it's my kid, so it's not her place to be celebrating my daughter's birthday.  She's not even a biological MIL, she's a step MIL, so she's no relation to my kids.  At Christmas, they buy way more presents than anyone else. My kids forget the presents anyone else buys them, and then they play with the bigger and supposedly better toys MIL gives them. It has ruined gift giving for other members of the family, and I now hate holidays. You can't stop them either because they don't listen. And another thing...DH and I went to rival colleges.  Every time we see them, she teaches my DS the school cheer for DH's school's sports team.  So now DS thinks of my alma matter as "the bad guys" and their team is the "good guys". She is teaching my kids values that are not mine.  It's competitive and ridiculous but I have to sit there politely letting her stomp on my boundaries because etiquette says I'm supposed to appreciate my kids receiving gifts and it would seem dumb of me to complain about her teaching them a cheer but she's disrespecting other people by trying to outdo them.  S[b]he also thinks anything my kids own she gave them, even if my mother gave it to them or if we bought it ourselves. [/b] I don't want to keep encouraging her behavior by spending the holidays with them, but we have no other plans so I fear we are stuck going through this ridiculous charade every time.  How can I stop her when she is compulsive and probably can't even stop herself? It is irritating and puts me in a bad mood. I don't even care about the team sports, but then as we were leaving, [b]my son told them "I hope we beat (my alma mater)[/b]" at the upcoming game. It shocked me he even would say something like that because it's obviously coming from them.[/quote]

You need to woman up.  You are going to have to gently correct much of this behavior.

You need to open your mouth and say stuff like this:

1.  "I know you like the pink cake that MIL bought, but I made this one for you.  It's homemade and tastes MUCH better."

2. "Mommy went to School X.  Do you know what their cheer is?"

3.  "Today we're going to root for Mommy's team. Next time we can root for Daddy's team."

4. "No, Grandma bought that for her, not MIL."

5.  "We have too many toys out. I'm putting this away now." (And then put the big awful thing in the back of your car and take it to the Goodwill.)[/quote]

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