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[quote=Anonymous]Ohh my goodness OP, DH and I could have typed this word for word. What is wrong with people? My in-laws brought up the gifts and favors they had given us as a bargaining chip for 3 whole years until I had enough. I personally took care of it because my husband was not willing to and since then, I do not accept or ask for any favors from them. I remember one afternoon my father in-law was lecturing me like a little girl for not involving him with house purchase... he went on and on to say how he lend us his car when ours was in the shop, how he dropped and picked me from work, OY!  I told him he shouldn't be using his favors as a weapon and from there henceforth my husband and I would do ok without his help if he continued. Since then, My in-laws have never brought up "we did this for you, so you must do this" but even with that, I still will not accept their help. I hire outside help if I have to (DH has been bedridden due to an injury).

Now more than ever we manage our finances very well, if we had an emergency we are sure that would be covered by our emergency fund and if not, I would rather borrow loan from the bank or my friends. Since I stopped accepting their help, I can tell you we feel free. We  are not guilt tripped to host 30 in-laws of in-laws just because, we  have them visit when its convenient for us not the other way, We are no longer forced to attend functions for people we don't even know, we don't have to involve them in decision making... wow the freedom. Start laying your own rules OP and be ready to burn out in the beginning esp. if they have been  helping a lot. Be ready to crash with them in the beginning but in the end, they will love and appreciate the new independent you.[/quote]

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