Reply to My wife attempted suicide last night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm so glad she survived, OP.  I lost my brother to bipolar disorder by suicide, and my mother attempted suicide a number of times when I was a child.  I am so glad you are there for your child, and I am so glad that you love your wife and want to support her.  It is really okay to be angry, too, and scared and hurt.

Unless you have reason to believe otherwise, please do approach this from the perspective that she was not in her right mind when she made this "choice".  I read some really nasty judgmental posts above, and I think it's important to look at this from the knowledge that her brain is very, very broken right now, and not able to function in a way that allows her to see rational options in front of her.  Just like kidney disease prevents those organs from functioning correctly, her brain illness is preventing her from seeing how much she is loved and needed and wanted.  There's a really good chance that somehow her sick brain convinced her that what she did was best for you.  (I had a really close friend who attempted suicide when her girls were young, 100% convinced that she was doing the best thing to ensure their happiness and security.  It was completely nuts, but a totally unselfish gesture from the point of her crazy brain.)  What she chose, depending on what her brain was telling her, was not necessarily selfish or weak or cruel.  She might honestly have thought she was doing you a favor.

It is SO frustrating and heartbreaking when we can't just logic someone or love someone out of a brain illness.  But if you think of it as an organ failing, how could love and logic ever be enough?  You can't love a person enough to cure their heart disease or convince a liver to work properly by telling it all the reasons why we love it and want it to work properly.  She needs medical treatment, but we are sadly still very much in the dark ages when it comes to treating the brain.  Please try to forgive her if her brain can't see how much you guys love her and how much she needs treatment, just as you'd forgive her breasts for getting cancer or her intestines for having colitis.  She's not choosing this.

And please do take care of yourself.  The scary thing is that all the love in the world may not save your wife.  Your child desperately needs you to be healthy, to be emotionally available, and to be dependable.  I'm rooting for you so much.[/quote]

This is probably the wisest thing I've ever read on DCUM.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. You have a heavy burden to bear right now, but it sounds like you are a strong person and an excellent partner and parent. Don't be afraid to reach out for support whenever you need it, to whomever. Don't be afraid to keep asking until you find someone who will help you. There are excellent professionals out there who know how to help you and your wife.[/quote]

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