Reply to How to handle a GYN exam in this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- You've definitely convince me not to lie. I didn't even realize that there would be more questions re STDs, partners, intercourse etc. if I said I was sexually active. And yeah -- I don't want to feel like I need the stress of continuing that act that whole time.

Given that I'm not 17 and I understand what all of this entails, it's not like I need someone to hold my hand through the tears, I just want someone to be a bit gentle and realize that I may need an extra min here or there that someone on exam no. 15 just does not need anymore. I will look at the practices mentioned and also online reviews for great bedside manners. I definitely want to go to a woman. I believe that for the right provider this isn't a huge deal; I know when my regular dr. asked about sexual activity a few yrs ago and I said no and that I had never been to a GYN, she encouraged me to go but did not bat an eye. I just have heard too many stories of hurried, snarky GYNs and their nurses who aren't so kind and really take the tone of "yeah right you're a virgin" or "WTF is wrong with you" or just don't care that it's your first exam and don't treat you with the same care that they'd give to a teen/20 something bc you're so "old."

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if they do take a tone or look down on me, as I don't have to go back there; but it's a stressful thing to me right now and I'd rather not have some provider's attitude that I'm a freak make me feel more nervous.

Has anyone ever had the pap smear/bimanual first and then the breast and abdominal exam? While I think all of it will be uncomfortable, I'd really want to get the harder parts over with first rather than having to anticipate the bimanual the whole time. Though given that I'm not 17 yrs old, I really don't want to ask them to do me a favor and do the exam out of order.[/quote]

I honestly don't know if there is a pattern in what they do first.  Usually the nurse checks you in and does the normal blood pressure, temperature, etc exam.  She then hands you the gown and asks you to get undressed, so you're hanging out on the table waiting for the doctor.  I feel in some exams we've started with speculum and in others we started with breasts.  Honestly, the breast part goes pretty quickly (like 1-2 min max in my experience) and abdominal is even faster, so I don't think you need to worry about an extended wait.  Once you're up in stirrups, speculum exam comes first (the pap smear swab may feel like a sharp pinch) and then the manual exam.  Honestly, after having the plastic speculum with lube in there, having a doctor's two fingers actually doesn't feel so uncomfortable.  The whole time, they will remind you to "relax" (because no one is relaxed for this!).  Total time for the speculum and manual exam is usually about 5 minutes.

I think it sounds like you have a pretty realistic expectation of what to expect, and I think you're looking for the right things.  I'd encourage you to find a practice that you could see yourself sticking with for years to come, though you are right -- if you have a bad provider this year, you can find another one next year.  
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