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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could see my ILs getting offended if once my mom left and the stepsons weren't coming the feel to the house kinda deflated and went back to business as usual. Like we didn't care that they were still there.

They would then float out "we're thinking of leaving" (as a test!)  And then if I had responded with, "Oh, sorry to hear that but OK" and started washing their coffee stuff to move them along ... the passive-aggressive behavior would have been unleashed.

OP, you're not wrong here. My ILs would have been the same.[/quote]

NP here!  Oh - this might just be it!  This passive-aggressive behavior describes my MIL.  My MIL holds the attitude that she is to be treated deferentially and be the center of attention and any moment when this is not upheld is a noted slight or insult.  It's like she is progressively diminished and defeated and expects to be built up and cajoled at all times.  You can imagine the fun it is to have even the most mundane interactions.

I think your MIL was hoping you'd plead with her (them) to stay.  Maybe she thought she'd have special one-on-one time with *just* her family, now that your pesky mom was gone and your loyalties would not be divided.  MY MIL pulls this shit - after I've hosted a huge family gathering (with my own parents and siblings) at MY house, she and my FIL make a point to leave last and stay for hours afterwards (and stay...for hours) under the auspices of "cleaning up" so that they get undivided attention.[/quote]

Why is this so hard? When were done hosting family and
The kids are ready for bed we just tell them that
It's time to go.  No lingering, none of that crap.

Head home. Social time is done. Good bye. 
[/quote]

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