Reply to If you're an older sibling...

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "If you're an older sibling..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]*sigh*. I feel resigned.  I am 44 and he is 42.  I'm being to accept that the bad decisions are never going to end and in all likelihood he will become my problem.[/quote]

He'll come to you for help?[/quote]

Yes and our surviving parent has recently started sayin " it's your problem now; I'm going to die soon".

My brother just has never grown up.  The problem with this is that at 20 it's cool to be say a ski instructor.  At 42, it's cold, tiring work that doesn't pay the bills and has no benefits.  Of course by then you haven't developed a skill set that will allow you to get a nice warm office job with benefits.[/quote]

Is he happy, PP?[/quote]

He was until his most recent relationship left him citing she wants kids with a man that will be able to provide for both the kids and her in retirement.  She did not want to be a SAHM, but she wanted a steadier income lifestyle if that makes sense.  Her leaving has sort of been a wake up call.  They were together 5 yrs and he was getting ready to propose.[/quote]

That's rough. Hope he figures things out. You're a good sister to be there for him. I know it must be hard.[/quote]

Thanks and as for advice to him, I walk a fine line.  I can't come out and say you don't have your stuff together because that's never well received by anyone.  But it's the truth.  She left because his financial house is not in order and he has no plans to get it in order.  So when he asks why did she leave, what does she want, I have to do the dance.

I'm trying to get him to fully understand what someone is looking for, that he has to start thinking about old age.  It's falling on deaf ears or I'm not being blunt enough.  Or maybe he does get it and is choosing to ignore me.

But at the end of the day unless something changes drastically, when he can no longer do manual labor because his body won't let him, he'll be living in my basement.  People on here may say that it's his problem, that these are his choices, and it's not my responsibility.  And they're right.  But he is my brother and my family, so he is my responsibility.  There is just no way I could sleep at night with food in my belly, in my warm bed knowing he was cold and hungry somewhere.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics