Reply to Finally told mother about abuse; now I have to face her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]4:41 - I see a therapist for other issues. Haven't brought it up because a) I fear the discomfort of talking about it, b) I'm afraid she wouldn't be able to say anything that would help, and c) I'm worried she would want me to confront him, which I absolutely can not do.

6:31 - thank you for sharing. I really hope I can move on the way uou have. May I ask how long it took you to deal with what happened and stop let it affecting you? Is the abuser still in your life at all?

6:34 - she wasn't in denial about the stuff I remember happening, just shocked and supportive.  I am worried about her bringing it up and things being awkward. I hate that it's out there now. [/quote]

Dear OP. 6:31 here. My own mother was part of the problem and I kept forgiving her. I desperately needed her love and acceptance after she'd abandobed me (I was eight months old when she left me with abusers and lived in denial her whole life about how grim my situation was). Anyway, I didn't move on until I was forced to. When my own son was about eight months old, she threatened to harm him and my husband. I kicked her out of my house and haven't looked back? That was eight years ago. So, to answer your question, I was 35. And no, the abuserS are not in my life, though I spent five years (my husband by my side) looking them in the eyes and telling them I remember what they had done. From some, I received apologies, from others complete denial. But, honestly, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I know you can get there, too, but it takes honesty, acceptance and letting go. Oh, and a supportive partner helps:-) [/quote]

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