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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is your friend trying so hard to get the ex out of his son's life?  This stuff upsets me.  You liked the guy enough to have a kid with him - sorry if it's inconvenient that you can't push him out to have the illusion of a perfect, happy family with Husband #2, but you don't take someone's kid away from them without a damn good reason.[/quote]

I think she and husband #2 are still bitter that her son is her ex's and not her current husband. Other than that, she has no real reason. The man is a good father and loves his son. What they're doing to this poor man upsets me too.[/quote]My brother was convinced to give up his parental rights to his kids when they were quite young so they could be adopted by their stepfather.  He never got over it.  It was a source of pain for him until he died.  If the man is a good father, he should never give up access to his kids.[/quote]

How was he convinced?[/quote]I don't know for sure because I wasn't living in the area where my family lived when it happened.  All I know is that he got divorced, he moved out of state, but then he decided to move home and then when he heard his ex was dealing cocaine he decided to sue for full custody.  (Personally I think it was aggressive and counterproductive to sue but he didn't ask me.)  However, his ex's girlfriends who had told him about the dealing wouldn't testify in court.

Then during a break in the court proceedings, his ex and her new husband moved to a distant state with the kids.  Apparently the court had not put it in writing that she shouldn't leave the state.  (Seriously this is all I know so it may be crazy for all I know.)  Then she negotiated the deal for my brother to give up his rights.  He told me that at some point in here that the ex sent his older son (very young -- elementary school age) in to tell him that the son wanted to be adopted by his stepfather.

I also wonder why my parents didn't intervene.  Because my brother loved children and it was crazy for him to give them up -- even if it saved him from having to pay child support.  But I wasn't close enough to my brother to ask him about all these things at the time.  In later years, I never asked because I knew he was hurt deeply over it.  And also having had my own kid, I realized that a) I would never have moved out of the state to begin with and b) I would never have given up the rights to my child.  I wish I had understood all these things back then because I would have called him and told him not to give his kids up.[/quote]

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