Reply to Is this emotional abuse?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Is this emotional abuse?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is emotional manipulation (not sure if it's abuse), but it's also immaturity and self-centeredness. [b] It's typical adolescent drama.[/b]
Also, your DD has a responsibility to respond (and everyone has a responsibility to respond) to emotional manipulation by  not buying into it.  By simply saying "You'll survive."[/quote]

No, I don't think so.  Threatening suicide is not "typical" behavior for anyone of any age.  Amazing how so many of you can so easily minimize this kind of behavior when there is a ton of research into mental illness demonstrating that it manifests itself in the teen years and early 20's.  Do we know for sure that OP's daughters ex-boyfriend is really suicidal?  No.  Does it matter?  No.  The bottom line is that these threats upset OP's daughter, and that should be OP's concern.  There's a saying that perception is reality.  If OP's DD's reality is that this situation caused her distress, that's her reality and it shouldn't be minimized or trivialized.

Some of you are going to up a shit creek when your kids reach teenage years.  [/quote]

A kid can say "If you break up with me I'm going to kill myself" and that's not a "suicide threat."  Get real.[/quote]

Stay with me here - IT. DOESN'T. MATTER.  The point is that OP's daughter was upset by it.  Period.  Do you have a teenager or happen to know any?  Can you remember being a teenager?  Or are you the world's oldest mom/dad with with ideas about parenting and mental health stuck in 1950?  Because really, your worldview on this stuff is out of date.  [/quote]

I think you are the one missing the point.  Teenagers say all kinds of shit.  "I'm going to kill myself if I don't get invited to Abby's party."  "I'm going to throw up"  "I'm so high right now!"  You don't call a suicide hotline, a rehab center or whatever just because they say those things.  They are not little adults.  It's not "emotional abuse" when they do that.  They do not have the maturity adults do, whatever the effect on OP's daughter was.  [/quote]

Well, whatever.  We'll have to agree to disagree.  I get your point I just happen to not agree with you at all.  I'm not saying OP should call the kids parents or a suicide hotline or report him to the school.  I am saying that IF OP'S DAUGHTER FELT MANIPULATED AND CONTROLLED INTO NOT BREAKING UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED HIM, that is a problem.  And yes, I would call it abusive.  Would you not agree that the young "man" in question needs some help regarding how to conduct an appropriate relationship?  You said yourself that kids do not have the emotional maturity adults do, and I agree.  That ALSO means they will have a harder time discerning which threats are real vs. those that are not, and that their reactions to said threats will not be the mature reactions of adults.  You deal with kids where they are PP.  Just because it is somehow so obvious to you that this is made up BS doesn't mean it's obvious to the kids involved.  You are applying adult rationality to the behavioral interactions of minor children.  OP's DD and the ex-boyfriend both need help determining what is and is not appropriate in relationships.  [/quote]

OP back again, Thanks for this. My thinking has changed and I'm glad I asked the question. I do feel that if it felt emotionally abusive to DD, it was. She's so upset with him she told me that if he tries to contact her again, she will call the police. So I'm wondering if there were other threats as well that she didn't mention or if she's just irritated and angry. I think the boy involved  has a new GF, so he seems to be adjusting ok.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics