Reply to Any parents on here raise a teen mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have a counselor who can help you negotiate rules together? To me, this situation screams for a trusted, thoughtful third party mediator.[/quote]

I agree with this. Perhaps her social worker.  I am also curious.  Does the mother have custody of the child or are you the foster parent to both the mother and newborn (so really they are placed in foster care together)?

I have worked with many young mothers in group home settings (18+, so not quite as young as your foster placement).  With the 18+ crowd it is emphasized that work, school, and kids are the most important.  Since this 15 year old is in foster care it is likely she has never experienced a childhood in the DCUM sense.  Your normal, is not her normal.  I would develop goals for both the 15 year old and the baby in conjunction with the social worker.  Foremost is consistency of care and bonding for the infant (from both you and the mom).  2nd is getting the mom to graduate from highschool/GED and preparing her for life after foster care (this may be moving into a group home or living situation for single mothers once she turns 18).   Since she doesn't seem to have family support, the likelihood of her retaining custody is pretty low. Keeping both the mother and baby in a consistent living and education situation for as long as possible is key.  I would encourage the 15 year old to get a job.  Between work, school, and the baby, hopefully she will not have tons of time for old friends. I would also ask the social worker if there is a parenting class she can take specifically for mothers under 18, so she can make friends with others who are dealing with the same things she is.

This sounds very bleak and jaded, but it is possible that you can do very little for the 15 year old.  You are not going to transform her into a "normal" teen.  Focus on building a bond with the baby and setting an example for the 15 year old so she can learning parenting skills and hopefully stay in a safe, consistent environment for as long as possible.

I think the advice about mediating house rules with a third party (social worker might work if the 15 year old trusts them) is very good advice. [/quote]

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