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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Friendships are hard"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At the end of the day you can't fully and 100% trust anybody in the deepest sense. And that's OK. That's how it is. Kind of sucks. But this is true even in the very best of friendships. Just enjoy all the wonderful moments and accept the frustrations. I agree, OP. It's disappointing. But it's also fine and in a way this let's you realize that you can be strong for yourself and learn to trust yourself. I appreciate your post OP. I feel that way sometimes too. [/quote] It smells like sockpuppet in here.[/quote] Uh? I'm the OP, not the whoever you're quoting. Thanks for your participation though. [quote] It's ok to sometimes be jealous of your friends. Life isn't always fair and sometimes your friends' lives are going well when yours isn't. It's ok to be insecure sometimes. If you can't let your friends know when you're feeling insecure, they're not real friends. (frankly, if you couldn't dream of telling a friend you were jealous, that might not be a real friendship either.) I think real friends are people who can see you at your worst and know your flaws and still like you. A true friend can be happy for your success, while at the same time being sad that others all seem to be succeeding when they're not. Mature people are capable of holding two seemingly conflicted thoughts at once. If you really think so little of your friends as you seem to, they may be acquaintances who don't really like you all that much. Ask yourself if you're being a good friend too, instead of just expecting people to be good friends to you. It's a two-way street.[/quote] I'm beginning to see that what I said in the OP is being blown out of proportion a little. I think very highly of my friends and said that in my OP, and I've also said that my friends accept me for who I am, as I accept them for who they are. We wouldn't be friends if our friendship wasn't a positive factor in our lives. The point I'm saying though is that even a positive social relationship has the potential to turn toxic because envy is a natural human trait, and to say that it's absent from happy relationships is blind and wrong.[/quote] No. You said it's "constantly a game" and "exhausting" and that your friends "lack sufficient self love to stop themselves from comparing themselves to you, still have insecurities no matter how balanced and confident and mature they seem, still capable of secretly getting jealous of you. No one wants to admit it but sometimes it is your best friend who hates to see you succeed far beyond their own success" (meaning, you see them as insecure and jealous). This is not a healthy adult friendship even if you manage to pretend that it is most of the time. Healthy close friendships require time and attention, but not protecting yourself in the manner you describe. I am vulnerable with my best friends and I can be myself. Schadenfreude and jealous comparison are not for true friends. [/quote]
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