Reply to advice and tips for parent and sibling moving in with us

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[quote=Anonymous]The first replies gave good ground rules for keeping the peace short term, but another important consideration, and perhaps the most important IMO, is how long is this arrangement going to be allowed for? I would be very clear from the beginning that this assistance is for six months and six months only. If your ILs need to go onto public assistance, six months should be enough time to get on disability and enrolled with food stamps.

My parents did this with a distant relative and they were happy to help family out in need, but when it goes beyond a few months of help, it become enabling behavior - the unemployed person stops looking for work, or starts spending whatever little money they have on random travel or trinkets trying to make the borrowed room feel like their own. The family getting help can get very comfortable without a deadline to act and the hosting family can quickly feel taken advantage of, but having not set out expectations clearly from the beginning, it's feels harsh setting a deadline after the fact. Set it up front, or they may never leave. [/quote]

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