Reply to advice and tips for parent and sibling moving in with us

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[quote=Anonymous]I've only lived with a friend of the family briefly and had my sister live with me while she was getting on her feet.  Living my with my sister was a disaster and I wished we had talked about things before we moved in.  For us the biggest point of contention was the phone (this was before cell phones were prevalent), overnight guests, and there not being a timeline.

Having been laid off myself I know there is a psychological component of applying to jobs and not getting called back and trying not to get either depressed or doing everything to avoid what you think will be more rejection.  I'm agree 200% with having a discussion asking FIL to volunteer and/or try to find a part-time job while looking.  You also want to discuss things like dinner, laundry etc.  I think if you have been working all day and find yourself cooking and cleaning up after 2 other adults and a teenager and no one is helping and FIL has been home all day, and then you go to have a moment to sit down to watch tv and that tv is taken by FIL and BIL has his girlfriend over ...you will be upset.  The best way to keep the relationship close and not have people either oblivious or uncomfortable walking on eggshells is to have a discussion about how things were running in separate households and what you can do to help each other and still keep to routines as much as possible. I don't want to say rules, more like how you and DH a had to come up with compromises and adjust to living together.  Also, with the three of them (BIL, FIL, and DH) all raised in the same household, the differences may seem 3 against 1.  For example, if DH sees nothing wrong with living dirty dishes in the sink overnight now you have three.  Or if DH was allowed to have a girlfriend sleep over as a teenager but you are aghast at that idea, no one may see anything wrong with BIL's girlfriend being over late.

Your heart is in the right place and if people communicate before problems happens and treat others how they would want to be treated, I think it can work out.[/quote]

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