Reply to How do I move on from a relationship that had no closure?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP.  I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the responses on this thread.  To the PPs who have said, give it time, I have.  I haven't had any contact with him in over two months and I cannot stop thinking about him.  I know that my feelings for him will eventually fade when I meet someone else.  I have dated A LOT since he ended things and what I have come to realize is that is is extremely difficult to find someone you have a strong connection with.  I miss his friendship the most and it is so hard for me to understand why he cut me off completely.[/quote]

I started re-dating at 38 when I divorced.  It's been several years and I'm now in a good, healthy relationship.  It's not perfect, but it's a strong, positive relationship I feel good about.  What you described in your original post happened to me a couple of times.  Given my life at the time, 4 months was a "relationship."  To just up and cut you off is disheartening.  I was in counseling for a while, and during that time, I would discuss these situations.  Once or twice I reached out to ask for some explanation.  The counselor suggested -- an innocuous text or email, saying I don't want anything from you, but am just wondering what happened or what changed for you.  In retrospect, I didn't really need to know the answers...and the one guy I'm thinking of, he never replied (double whammy as that felt awful too!).

Looking back now, it's a "him" issue and not a "you" issue.  It seems like you're the type of person that would not treat someone the way he treated you.  He's not right for you if that is the case.  I would never dump someone after months with no explanation.  I certainly don't want to be with someone who could/did/would do that to me.  In the end, like everyone has said, you dodged a bullet.  He's shown you that when push comes to shove, he's doing what's right for him and isn't even concerned about how this breakup has made you feel.  That person is not worthy of your time and thoughts. When the negative thoughts come creeping in, think of some positive to balance that out.[/quote]

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