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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, woman here who doesn't expect anyone to defend me. Perhaps it would be different if I had married younger, or something, but I got to my mid-30s single, and had to learn to deal with situations myself.

Also, I don't need to defend against anything too often, and it's obvious from your post you see more instances where you do.  The guy who was rude to you in the store? Not saying it wouldn't hasn't happened to me, but not only would I not expect my SO to defend me, I wouldn't defend myself. [b]Dude is being an ass, and I'm not a fan of confrontation for the sake of it, when there is nothing to be gained. [/b]

Two exceptions to this, where I would expect my SO to rise to my defense: in the case of a partner his family or friends, because in that one situation it's better him defend me than me defend myself, and in the case of a physical threat, because, let's face it - he's quite a bit bigger than me. [/quote]

+1.  In the case of the store employee, I'm from the school of thought where I assume people are crazy and I'm not trying to "defend" myself by being confrontational.  If someone clearly unprofessional enough to call you names for something you don't see as your fault, arguing with this person isn't going to calm them down and may rile them out more. I wouldn't want to expose my kids to Dad or Mom getting into a physical altercation over walking thru powdered dust on the floor.  If you felt it was important for the kids/DH to see you stand up for yourself the right way, I would have asked DH to take the kids to the car and found the manager (and not by asking quick temper McGraw employee) and said, look this is the situation.  If keeping people out of the way was important, it should have been blocked off. I couldn't see it with a crowd of people going thru.  Regardless, being verbally abusive to express frustration especially with young kids nearby shouldn't be how you want to conduct business in your store.  Thank you for letting me voice my concerns.  Then you keep it moving.

For the co-worker, I would wonder why he felt he could/should see your house.  Since it is his co-worker, I would see it as DH's responsibility to manage that relationship.  I used the word manage and not "defend me" intentionally.  I noticed that at the end of the day that co-worker didn't tour your house when he showed up the second time with DH there and hasn't appeared to be a problem since?  I'm going out on a limb to say DH somehow resolved that issue though maybe not in the way you expected.

Look, I'm the more emotional one and I depend on DH to "talk me down from the ledge" when I get upset about something at work etc.  His personality isn't the type to be confrontational.  However, I notice he does support me, for example when I felt his mom was being overtly critical about me not doing do something right with the baby (and I was already overly nervous as a first time mom) and I mentioned how it upset me.  Somehow, someway, this was not an issue again. I don't know where and when a conversation took place but it was done in such a way a small problem didn't become a big problem and everyone moved on.  [/quote]

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