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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable and I think your follow up posts make the situation clearer (and paint you in a better light than originally). It's quite possible that nothing happened. [b] It took a long time for him to get to the level you like so obviously it is a lot of work for him and requires effort.  Perhaps the time spent apart plus all the stress of work killed his desire to put that much effort in and he's having a tough time getting back into it.  [/b] Instead of asking why he stopped, ask him how you can help get back to where you were.  That seems to be the important issue.

Two things I will say:

1.  Don't withdraw and act mad because of this.  It will make him shut down.  If this is so important to you that you find yourself less interested in him, you need to think long and hard about the future. This will likely happen again. Will you withdraw every time?   This leads me to number 2

2.  Do you plan to have kids?  Know that sex Can change after kids (not always) and if he's overtired, stressed, etc with a kid, he may not want to put in all the effort to be kinky.  What then?  Will you get pissed and wish he was different?

I'm not saying you're unreasonable, and I'm not saying your husband needs to up his game, I'm just wondering if you will be able to stay in a happy marriage if you don't get the level of kink you want.  DH isn't as kinky as I'd like and will sometimes, but very rarely, up it to the level I sometimes enjoy.  But it doesn't make me love him less or resent him and we still have a great sex life.  It doesn't sound like you are in the same position. [/quote]

This really sounds like the issue. He has gone back to his comfort zone. It's not that he didn't enjoy it, it's that it takes more for him to maintain that level of sexuality and because he can enjoy sex without it, there is less motivation to make all the effort your pleasure requires.

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