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[quote=Cassiopeia][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Other than the length of your relationship OP, I'm the same.  Married many years, two kids under 4, coming up on the one year mark since we had sex, and frequency even before kids was never what I wanted.

It's miserable.

I love him and he's a deeply good man, but I am really missing what I think constitutes a significant part of a marriage.  As it stands we're fantastic loving friends and parents.  Zero passion.[/quote]

You hit the nail on the head.. zero passion.  Ugh
Do you think you can live with it forever?
Its so hard to see other couples we are friends with be affectionate and hear about their sex lives.  I would be psyched if we did it at least once a week![/quote]

To contemplate living with (or more to the point WITHOUT) it forever is almost unbearably depressing.

But - we have young kids.  And we love each other, and take care of each other and I trust him completely.  So for the kids' sake I would stay with him.  I expect that at some point I will have to stop trying to resurrect our sex life and just totally give up.  Perhaps once I do that, mourn the loss, and find a way to still be in the marriage without being awful to him, it will get easier and by the time the kids are grown I'll be too old to care.

God that looks awful in print.

[/quote]

Um, what??  I am trying to understand why people stay in passionless marriages for the sake of the kids.  I mean, would you want your kids to have a marriage like that?  Because chances are they will one day.  I think it must have something to do with family of origin.  It's hard for me to imagine a relationship that is honestly good in every way except that you never have sex.  I just don't see how it can really be good.

Plus, I don't think you can just acquiesce to his removing the consummate act of marriage without it breeding anger and resentment in you.  It will ruin your relationship.  You should definitely get in therapy.  First, send him to the doctor to have his testosterone levels checked.

But don't just give up the last of your youth like that.  You'll regret it when you're old.  [/quote]

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