Reply to 50/50 custody and behavior problem at school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your child having these same issues in either house.  Perhaps it is a school issue and not a home issue?  You sound like a great reasonable mom and if your ex is reasonable too, maybe something isn't right at school?  Kids can act out for all sorts of issues.  It doesn't necessarily always mean it is due to divorce or even home life.

Could he be bored?  Under-stimulated at school?  Any special needs or delays?  Struggling with reading, writing, math or even socially or following directions?  Is the teacher/child not a good fit?

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OP here - thanks for the helpful suggestions and insights, I appreciate it! Regarding being understimulated/bored at school - yes, I do believe this is one factor and am meeting with the teacher and resource teacher this coming week to discuss the situation further and how his academic needs can be accomodated. I am hopeful that this will ameliorate or even eliminate the problem behaviors. I have other thoughts on causes and strategies for helping my child, but it is difficult when I am only with my child part of the time, and haven't been able to have a real discussion about the situation with his dad.

My initial question was more about communication norms between co-parents in this type of situation and it seems as though the answer is a resounding YES ideally co-parents would be able to discuss on the phone or via email about thr situation and how to handle it jointly. It is helpful for me to hear that perspective, as I wasn't sure if my expectations were unrealistic, but it sounds as though they are not.

I still havent heard back from my child's father about whether he even discussed the incidents at school from this week with our son (which I know about because the teacher emailed us both). So I am feeling a little frustrated and helpless at the moment. 
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