Reply to This is the 1st time DH and I have had opposite views on something important/ personal value

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous[b]]Just an FYI, OP, that these kinds of discussions and conflicts are really common after you have your first child.  It's not just you and DH! [/b]

The one thing I think you can do is try to listen to DH get out his feelings.  Don't automatically shut it down.  There might be some compromises or room to adjust your lives here and not move--or you might want to move to a different kind of suburb or or or.   There's room to figure out how to get more of what you both want out of life.[/quote]

I agree with all of this, but especially the bolded.  Having kids really changes your perspective on all kinds of things and it takes a while to reestablish equilibrium in a couple in your new reality.

So first give it time.  Then give it patience.  Then maybe seek someone out to help you and your husband navigate these conversations more helpfully.  It sounds like you've found yourself unexpectedly at odds, and about surprisingly deep seated, not fully rational, feelings.  That's really not surprising or unusual.  But you also sound like you have an excellent foundation and long history that supports you in working this out well.

I really think you'll figure it out.  It will probably entail compromise, and neither party getting their "dream/fantasy" life - but who really does?

Good luck OP.  Have faith in the relationship you've built and allow for some time to reconfigure what works now that it's more than just you and your husband in the picture.[/quote]

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