Reply to How to talk to a friend dealing with infertility

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Birthdays are really hard when you are going thru infertility b/c you feel you are falling farther and farther behind while getting less fertile. So I would avoid getting too specific unless you know she would love a great new watch or something specific [/quote]

This.  It's hard to celebrate because every year I'm reminded of that year's loss, and that I still don't have a baby.

My friend called me on my birthday this year, which was just after a miscarriage (she doesn't know about it) and when I started crying, because it wasn't a happy birthday AT ALL, she said something like "you can at least be happy on your birthday!"

Which made me stop talking to her again.

Say Happy Birthday but DO NOT tell her how to feel.  This applies to whenever you talk to her, actually.  If she says it's not happy, or doesn't react well, just say "I understand".[/quote]

+! I cried through my birthday dinner. The next year I was pregnant. who knew?[/quote]

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