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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If they don't call or prearrange at time to come over for a visit, don't answer your door and disable your doorbell.  My MIL used to walk into my house without knocking or ringing the bell.  Just walked in like she owned the place.  I stopped that by locking the front door and making sure the garage doors were down.

"We came over to see you and you weren't there!"  "Huh.  Next time call us to schedule a time to come over."

They have announced they are coming over for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas?  Make use of this information.

"You are coming over for Christmas?  Awesome.  Bring breakfast with you and come over about 10am.  Nap time is 1pm so plan on heading home then."  And then at 1pm take baby upstairs and disappear for the afternoon leaving your husband to deal with his parents.

"Thanksgiving sounds great.  It will be an early meal since we are pooped from dealing with the new baby.  Plan on coming over around 11am.  Meal will be around 4pm and baby will be napping from 1pm to 3pm as will I so the two of you can help husband's name get the meal on the table.  Going to order from Wegmans since I won't be cooking this year."

"Halloween might be a waste of time.  Baby goes to bed before dark and is too young for trick or treating.  But if you two want to come over and hang out with husband's name and hand out candy that would be great.  I will put baby to bed at 7pm and go to bed early."

The more you stick your husband with his parents, the more he will be motivated to plan and stick to a schedule.  Once I figured out that my husband would never plan to see his mother who lives 45 minutes away if I stopped planning events for her to attend, I went from seeing her once a month to 3 times per year.  Every now and then he says, "We need to spend more time with my mom!"  And every time I give him a big smile and say, "You are so right!  We do!"  And then I do nothing.  Works like a charm.  [/quote]

OP, I like PP's ideas, but you should NOT be expected to host your ILs for any holiday! Unless you've already told them you're hosting Christmas and Thanksgiving, you should NOT make plans to do so. If they bring up the holidays again, just say you're looking forward to spending time with them at their new place over the holidays. The beauty of that is, you can leave when you want to, and you don't have to feel bad for kicking them out of your house.

However, the last piece of advice is golden. Let DH plan stuff with his parents. But that only works if the parents wait til they get invited to places.

The best thing I can tell you is to change the locks and tell your ILs exactly why: because it's your house, not theirs.[/quote]

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