Reply to My husband just hit me

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My husband just hit me"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there something sexy about dangerous men? I was unthreatening and had a hell of a time getting dates in high school and (to a lesser extent) in college. The dudes with tempers always seemed to have dates.

Then I hear about the domestic abuse issues. I know the women say they are afraid to leave, and maybe it's as simple as that. But they must have had reasons to start seeing these guys in the first place. The standard response is that the women didn't know the guys in question had rage issues. And again, maybe it's as simple as that - however, most of the ones with tempers seemed pretty easy to pick out. Possibly because it's a survival instinct in a kid who grew up skinny among bigger guys.

My sense has been that women find these guys sexy on some level. If they didn't know, it's because they were wilfully blind to the tempers and rage. And, sometimes, they don't leave when things get bad, but again, there seems to be some willful blindness for a variety of reasons.

And, no, regardless of the dynamics, the women who get hit absolutely don't deserve it. People who hit people should go to jail. Full stop. [/quote]

It really doesn't sound like you are very informed about domestic violence if you think that you can spot a wifebeater just by looking at them. It usually doesn't start with what the OP described, though you are bound to find examples of situations where the signs were there from the very beginning and were simply ignored. I have been in two abusive relationships - one when I was 16 and one when I was 21. After the first time, I swore I would never be in that position again. When I met the boyfriend who abused me when I was 21, he was a mild mannered art student. He didn't drink. He didn't use drugs. He loved his cat and his family. He wasn't jealous or possessive or obsessive or anything like the other one. He knew about my history with that guy, and found it upsetting that anyone would treat me that way. After about 6 months, his behavior took a turn for the jealous and possessive, such that one evening when I went out to a club with a group of girlfriends and didn't answer my phone when he called, he waited at my apartment and put his fist through a window next to my head. I would never have expected it the day before and the day after, I almost couldn't believe it had actually happened, so I accepted his apology and let it slide, until it happened again.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics