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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, might I suggest that you begin now to plan for camps lessons, activities, etc. for your children for this the summer.  When you MIL announces the date, you'll have a convenient "out" because Larla will be at Space Camp that week and Both will be at karate lessons the following two weeks.

Your MIL needs to learn that your family has other considerations and commitments beyond this hellish vacation.  She likely needs to hear the word no on occasion, too!

I have a similar make and model!  My MIL would also toss out a date, make reservations and expect us to drop everything and go on vacation with her entire family. We did a few years and it was miserable!  We sidestepped the whole idea when my DH and I started new jobs and no longer had the luxury of ample vacation time.  We now take one vacation with just our family (DW|DW|DCs) and sometimes, the ILs will take one of our kids away with them.  [/quote]

I second this.

If I understand what you've described correctly, your MIL (and the rest of them, from the sounds of it) aren't happy if you go on this annual trip with them. And neither are you or your kids. It sounds like the only reasons you go are 1. DH's sense of obligation and 2. to play nice to an MIL who isn't going to be any closer or kinder to you for having done it. (And possibly 3. to avoid dealing with unpleasantness from not going?) So the only one who would be sorry that you wouldn't go would be maybe DH - I wonder if an expectations vs. reality conversation would be useful, since he doesn't really seem to get the bonding experience from it that they claim will happen.

Your kids are only kids once - this is a time ripe with potential for making memories that sound way more meaningful and loving than these past family trips have been. Your obligation to please others ends when it isn't mutual anymore.[/quote]

OP here.  I love this, thank you.  I will mention part of this to DH.  I am very grateful.  Clearly I need all the help I can get.  I am at my wit's end.  It is very hard to not have a vacation to look forward to, as you can imagine.

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