Reply to Does your spouse have a best friend who is of the opposite sex?

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[quote=Anonymous]I guess I am the "best friend of the opposite sex." I (female) am best friends with a man. We met when we were young, had mutual friends, went on about 3 dates, and realized we were not for each other.

No one either of us has ever been with has ever had a problem with our friendship with each other. He was with one woman for 10 years - I became good friends with her, too, and helped him pick out her engagement ring, with the proposal, etc. They split several years ago and he now has another partner (live-in) that he's been with for 5 years. She's never been anything but fantastic to me, and in fact, during the one big fight he and I had (in 17 years of friendship) a couple years ago, she was inviting me to their parties, etc. and encouraging him to work it out with me. I haven't had anyone of the duration he did, but none of my boyfriends ever had a problem with him, either.

I think the reason none of our partners ever had an issue with our friendship is because they honestly 'got' the friendship. It's obvious. There is NOTHING romantic there. No sparks. We have never, ever slept together, not even when we were both single, when he was going through his divorce, ever.

I love him dearly, he's like the brother I never had. We are so close that I have joked that if he killed someone, it'd have to be someone I really loved before I'd even consider not helping him to bury the body. I know can count on him for anything, and he's told me the same is true for him.

Everyone's got to figure out what works for them, but for me, when every other person in my life (and his) has realized our relationship is not a threat, I'd be hard-pressed to give up my best friend of 17 years because some guy who was a lot newer on the scene than that had a problem with it. [/quote]

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