Reply to The Red Flag in common: looking for opportunities to be offended

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Reply to "The Red Flag in common: looking for opportunities to be offended"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dunno. My SIL is easily offended but I don't think anyone would describe her as toxic or difficult. She is very insecure, nervous, and quietly a pessimist. I mostly feel sorry for her.[/quote]

I think it becomes toxic when the person who keeps getting offended acts like a victim and is constantly accusing people of being horrid. It doesn't stay internal. It leads to bigger drama.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for continuing this thread!

THIS here is the key- its the frequency of the "offenses". It can seem at first just like what the PP describes with SIL. There is a sense of pity once can feel for such a person.

However, I have noticed that this pity can be the hook that draws you in. The toxic person who is obsessed with tallying the wrongs done unto them elicits pity for what by all appearances can be legitimate wrongs. Only over time once you get a chance to collect more information  about the events that are CONSTANTLY being re-assessed and re-tooled for content and meaning by the "victim" do you find yourself saying OMG.

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