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Reply to "Do you get personal time away from DH/DW?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I enjoy spending time together, long trip or vacation together. I don't fell okay with doing together ALL THE TIME but I tried for all these years to see if I will change and like it. I guess it built up and now I feel it together with other stress and annoying. I am more introvert like other PP said. I enjoyed my own time in my own space growing up. I feel like I have to watch myself being with others and not totally let myself loose. And it is tired if you know what I mean. I feel being controlled because he is ok with me staying at home but going outside is a different story. I don't have much to talk to him when I get home from work because he already texted asking "how is your day so far or what did you eat for lunch?" everyday. The other annoying things is DH often corrects me which appreciated for helping but at the same time I don't like it when it gets too often and when it is just differences between personalities. Plus the way he said it is annoying. It makes me feel stupid and my confident/self-esteem is super low being around him. For example, he said "why don't you put these knife further back in the dish drying rack so that you don't get hurt to get spoon and fork out (in the same slot). Try to do things that make more sense". OK let me explain this more, we wash dishes by hand, there are 3 slots for spoon, fork, knife and at that time I put the knife in the outside slot, the most easiest to grab and common we are adults, can we just watch what we are doing! It implied to me that I am stupid, doing non-sense thing. Also he often complaints with a question type "Why are you doing ....? ", "Don't you think ..... ?" , "Why don't you ..." which eventually leading to I am accepting I am wrong and he is right. I feel irritated. OK so this is off topic, it is properly just personality here. [/quote] once you are annoyed, everything he says and does becomes annoying. I can completely see a woman on here complaining about how her DH puts the dishes away in a way that she has to reach over sharp knives to get at utensils and what an idiot he is for doing that. And how she has to teach how how to do dishes the right way. It sounds like he is more like a more traditional women - nagging and criticizing because the job isn't done to her satisfaction. What happens when you talk to him about how you feel? Is he respectful of you? You may need to sit down and have a talk where you tell him that you can't keep doing things the way you are because it is making you upset. Tell him you need space and how you will take it, let him know that if he says something that makes you feel stupid, you will let him know this. let him know examples of what makes you feel he is putting you down. It sounds like you need to be a little more assertive and have a backbone. Be your own person. If he texts you about how was your day, you don't have to text back if you are eon your way home. When you get home say I preferred to tell you in person.[/quote]
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