Reply to Do you get personal time away from DH/DW?

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Reply to "Do you get personal time away from DH/DW?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it is within the range of normal. I don't think it is controlling in the sense that there are likely many couples who are very happy spending time together, texting frequently and not feeling smothered. You say he goes out without you weekly and is fine with you saying no, you want to stay home alone. Some of your examples - like being annoyed he wants to know you have arrived safely when you travel or touching base each day when you are overseas are normal activities in the majority of marriages.

The issue here isn't that you both aren't on the same page. Maybe he is more extroverted and really enjoys your company and you are more introverted and prefer more personal space.  You seem to want very little contact or time together and he wants too much. You are going to have to find a happy medium you can both live with.

You need to sit down and tell him clearly that you are feeling smothered and that you need time to yourself. decide before the conversation what that time will look like - that you want to be able to run to Walmart alone or that you are going to go out once a week to an exercise class alone. When he sees this as you not wanting to be with him, reframe it as you needing time to be with yourself (it isn't about him, it is about you). Then just do it.

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