Reply to Cousins sent nasty emails to my elderly mom....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why doesn't your mom forward the awful emails to her sister and ask her what's up? If she just spent two months with her, she should be comfortable just asking her own sister what in the world is going on. [/quote]

This is a good question and when I was talking to my mom I told her I thought she should contact aunt...apologize for snapping at her, express that she could have communicated her frustration better and that she was sorry she upset her...and then also tell her sister about the messages. My mom doesn't know if her sister even knows about the messages. The problem is that if this had just stayed between my mom and aunt which I firmly, firmly believe it should have I don't think my mom would feel so reluctant to call and just apologize and straighten things out. After reading the things in the messages...that she's angry and bitter, mean and unhappy, responsible for her mother living a long lonely life etc...she feels more reluctant. She feels like this obviously has been brewing under the surface for a long time. Like, if these people think these things about her and would say it with such little provocation...who are they really? You know?

My mom and her sister kind of have a relationship that is friendly...they talk once a month or so and have vacationed together a number of times in retirement...including the winter in Hawaii...but she also feels that in their relationship there is something of a superficiality...it would be hard to explain but is based on their different personalities etc... My aunt has done other things that have upset my mom, but she usually keeps her mouth shut. My mom is a pretty non-confrontational person by nature.

I mean...it's truly weird and from left field from our perspective. My mom said when she got the message from the male cousin she actually wondered if he'd started drinking again. (he's sober for some years).[/quote]

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